The Witching Hour: Transmuting the Soot of Shame
As I wrote in what I thought would be my final post for this year, I continue simmering in the throes of 3 a.m. Spiritual Fires. A signal that my Soul is still in a phase of High Alchemy.
Spirit is not yet done shaking things up inside of me, helping me process duality and smelting gold. The shadows of my physical realm continue to be lit up, made conscious, and transmuted by these fires.
I began writing this post at 3:33 a.m. In numerology, 333 is the number of the "Ascended Masters"—a sign calling for balance and harmony in relationships, lending support and encouraging you to step forward, show up, and progress to the next level in your journey of Spiritual Ascension. It is a bridge between the seen and the unseen... between the mind, body, and Spirit.
This Wednesday morning, I was jolted awake by a nightmare—a violent argument with my sister that left me in tears. It brought to the surface a deep, lingering shame: the memory of a past version of myself who was a "mean sister." Growing up in a narcissistic, abusive household, my sister and I were pitted against each other in a literal "Hunger Games" for our parents' conditional affection.
I was a neurodivergent girl who felt like an outcast, and I often projected that pain onto the people closest to me. For years, I carried this regret. But I’ve learned that Grace often arrives disguised as catastrophe. The "unfortunate events" that forced my sister and me to fend for ourselves in Guatemala after graduating from high school were actually Divine Interventions.
They removed us from the toxic soil of our parents and allowed us to grow new roots of sisterhood, healing, and mutual protection.
The Generational Mirror: Parents, Children, and Shadows
As we navigate the holiday season—a time when toxic family dynamics often flare—it is vital to remember the Universal Law of Mirroring.
Our Parents: Embody the "sins of the ancestors." They often force upon us the generational burdens they were too wounded to carry and overcome themselves.
Our Children: They are our most profound mirrors. Often, their greatest struggles—anxiety, perfectionism, or even physical illness—are symptoms of our own unresolved shadows.
I spent years telling my daughter, Hannah, to be confident, to stop overextending herself to please others, and to know her worth. But I was "talking the talk" while still "walking the walk" of a woman begging for scraps of love from a husband who mirrored my father’s coldness. I was making myself small, suppressing my fire, and teaching her, through my actions, that you must sacrifice your autonomy to be loved.
The Empress’s Effect: Healing by Example
If you want your child to choose happiness, voice their needs, value their well-being, and stop chasing external validation… then you have to take a cold hard look at your own choices and see if you are embodying all that you desire for them.
A miracle happened when I finally saw myself reflected in my daughter, acknowledged my shadows, tended my wounds, and rose to the Throne of the Empress.
As I began to forgive myself, stand in my power, and integrate my Soul, Hannah blossomed. I didn't have to "lecture" her into confidence. As I rose, she rose.
My investment in my own Spiritual Gestation became her liberation. When I stopped expecting perfection from myself, she stopped demanding it of herself. When I learned to step into my authenticity and embrace everything that makes me unique, so did she.
A Message for the Season: Be the Lighthouse
If you are facing a family member this season who triggers you, or if you are witnessing a child struggle with a heavy burden, look inward. Ask yourself:
What generational chain is this person highlighting for me?
What trait in them am I refusing to face, forgive, and heal in myself?
How can I walk the walk of self-love, Spiritual Integrity, and sovereignty so those I love can follow my lead?
Be grateful for the hurts of your past, for those wounds were the cracks that allowed your virtues to be revealed. Be mindful that choosing yourself, investing in self-care, and prioritizing your happiness is not "selfish"—it is a humanitarian act.
When you work on healing your own Soul, you are effectively transmuting the DNA of your entire bloodline.
Make the unconscious conscious and integrate it. Rise up and sit on your throne with unconditional love and compassion. Shine bright. Be your family's lighthouse.
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