Why I Let My Soulmate Go: Queen of Cups Wisdom & Choosing Self-Worth

Why I Let My Soulmate Go: Queen of Cups Wisdom & Choosing Self-Worth

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The ultimate Queen of Cups lesson is this: You deserve certainty and wholehearted devotion. Your intuition is your compass, and setting someone free to choose their truth is the highest act of self-love and vulnerability as power.

The Courage to Let Go

This post expands on my YouTube Short: 'Why I Let My Soulmate Go: Vulnerability as Queen of Cups Power' https://youtube.com/shorts/JiRnbTnHNsA?feature=share

It’s been a spiritually profound and painful two months for me. I made the courageous, yet heartbreaking, decision to end one of the deepest and most beautiful connections I have ever experienced. 

I had to let go of the man I believe is my counterpart—the individual who resonated with my Spirit and elemental energies in a way that felt like destiny. One I remembered clearly from lifetimes past.

But my personal story isn’t a retelling of a tragedy; it’s a tale of transformation and Divine Inspiration. It’s about facing a painful truth, trusting your Water intuition, and choosing self-worth over stagnation.

The Paradox of the Almost-Perfect Love

Our connection felt like a miracle, the answer to all of my prayers. It was built over 150 lengthy email exchanges and countless hours of video and text chats. Our dynamic was always full of entertaining and insightful conversations, deep intimacy, fun, and genuine vulnerability. 

He is a handsome professor and was my equal and perfect complement in every way. My gentle but hilarious companion, my psychologist, my best friend, even my personal trainer... and the brilliant, warming mirror that reflected my highest self. 

He had a special way of engaging my intellect, all the while making me blush and burn all over... and then laugh so hard that it hurt. He is the embodiment of my wish list for love, and for eight glorious months, we built a bond that transcended distance and time. 

He saw past all that, for others before him had been "too much" or "off-putting" and intimidating. He made me feel safe enough to shed my armor, bring down my walls, and willingly bare my heart, mind, body, and Soul. I was convinced he was my person—the man I had been actively manifesting. 

Yet, a persistent, quiet anxiety lingered. My intuition—that quiet but stubborn and ever-wise Water energy—kept whispering a deeper truth: "He only has half a heart to give." He was, and is, a beautiful Soul with a unique and incredibly powerful Spirit he has yet to fully embrace... navigating his own pain, fears, and personal journey. 

I knew he had unresolved feelings for his ex-wife—the "great love" of his life. I hoped I could beckon him to the present with me and help him release the grip of his past. But he faced unexpected hardships with his daughters and began having more necessary interactions with his ex. I felt a subtle, yet undeniable shift in our dynamic. 

My fear wasn't that he would be intentionally cruel or purposefully use or hurt me; my fear was that, where he had been slowly but surely opening up to me and letting me into his heart, I was becoming an option, a bookmark, a lovely distraction until his past love was either fully resolved or returned to him. 

I sensed I had been put on standby, and my inner voice screamed, "Jessi, you deserve certainty and wholehearted devotion, not halfhearted attention!"

The Fire of Clarity: Choosing My Highest Timeline

The Queen of Cups does not run from emotion; she uses it to seek clarity. I knew the only way forward was through honesty... but this required me to confront two difficult truths:

  1. My Truth: I was terrified of being hurt again, and this relationship, though wonderful, now carried the highest risk.

  2. His Truth: He was stuck on pause—a kind, honorable man waiting for clarity that wasn't coming easily.

I recognized that he needed to confront his past... face his dragon and embody his power... to be truly free to seize the future. 

Instead of asking him to take a leap of faith and choose me, I took my own leap of faith. I sent the difficult email, which was both a declaration of my love and a loving ultimatum: "You must find clarity for yourself and your happiness."

My decision was final: I would not be a bookmark in his life. I deserve to be the main chapter, the beloved protagonist, chosen with certainty and joy. I set him free to Return to the Sea and face his truth, and in doing so, I also liberated myself.

Vulnerability as Power: The Metamorphosis

This painful process has affirmed the core of my unrelenting Spirit:

  • Heartbreak is Healing: I know that the tears I can't keep myself from crying for now are simply energy releasing. I am letting go of patterns that no longer serve me, grieving the loss of the old me, our one-of-a-kind love, and the future I had envisioned with him... and creating space for a love that is for my greatest good.

  • Trust Over Fear: I am choosing to trust in Divine unfolding and timing. If he is meant to return to my life, he will do so as a whole, committed partner, ready to co-create a limitless future. If not, I trust that the universe has something even more spectacular in store for me, better aligned with my highest timeline.

  • I Am Worthy: My greatest lesson is the affirmation that I deserve nothing less than pure, certain, and devoted love. I am not a runner-up, I am not a consolation prize, and I am not just another option. I am a unique, bright, and irreplaceable shining light in a world that is so often engulfed by darkness.

This week, let this be your Queen of Cups lesson: Listen to the whispers of your intuition. It is your most powerful guide. If something feels uncertain or cloudy, makes you uneasy or anxious, and you sense you only have half of someone's heart, don't settle just to avoid pain and heartbreak. 

You have the strength of will to choose yourself and overcome!

The most powerful act of unconditional love you can give someone is to set them free... to choose their own truth, even if it means losing them for a time… and focus on developing your Divine energy from within. As within, so without.

Continue the Journey: My Story & Your Growth

If this story resonates with you, I invite you to explore this emotional journey through my writing. I hope that seeing my process unfold can empower you to face your own difficult conversations.

I also recommend following the Queen Activation blog posts and tarot readings... and whatever other content of mine you feel drawn to... trust your intuition to guide you!

Let's activate our Queens and embody our π‘¬π’Žπ’‘π’“π’†π’”π’” π‘¬π’π’†π’“π’ˆπ’š together!

I am processing grief, releasing what no longer serves my greatest good, and readying myself to receive the blessings, happiness, and love that I deserve… which are already available to me from within myself.

Are you?

Follow 𝑻𝒉𝒆 π‘¬π’Žπ’‘π’“π’†π’”π’”'𝒔 𝑻𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒆 playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzYo_6vdUcObACf0xl33yRvf8ICX45jhC

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