Cut to this week and an unexpected construction job that was unannounced by the authorities in the municipality where I live. The only road leading into and out of my house was hacked to pieces without prior warning, leaving me stuck inside. Because my municipality is more rural than urban, I need a car to be able to go anywhere. No street means no car, which meant no access to the outside world for three whole days.
The intensity of my anger detonated by this unforeseen, but temporary, barrier let me know that I had to go into meditation to discover what other areas of my life had me feeling stuck and were fueling my heightened frustration. I realized my relationship with Gemini Man had begun to wear me down, instead of lift me up. An inner knowing causing me distress for a few weeks now, feeling as though I were standing on shifting sands, and sensing the approach of changing winds. Wanting to break out of this loop of stagnant energy.
Everything in the universe, until now, has conspired to pull me towards this man. And between us, there has been a most powerful flow and exchange of energy. These past months have been full of urgings to welcome and surrender to this mind/energy connection. To allow it to flow through me, to teach me, to awaken me, to clear my blockages. I was looking in him for what I needed to find in me, and trying to figure him out helped me find myself in him. Seeing my wounds, my flaws, my gifts, and my strengths reflected in him allowed me to figure myself out, to discover my truth.
But where I found enlightenment and growth, Gemini Man confronted fear and discomfort. He rejected the experience of harnessing this powerful energy and allowing it to work through his wounds. Resisting it fully, turning in on himself, withholding his feelings, clinging to his karmic patterns, suppressing his awakening. Insisting he was secure and content in his avoidance of love, in his repression of emotions. He grew increasingly overwhelmed by the intensity of the energy, feeling greater discomfort the more he blocked the flow... causing a build-up of tension.
The more energy I poured into him, the more he pulled away, and our energy exchange became one-sided. All of the healing and growth that has transpired for me in this connection had me feeling exhausted, vulnerable, and in need of comfort. But asking for clarity and reassurance from him increased the pressure to the boiling point, with him quite literally pushing me out of his life. Divinely forcing me to acknowledge that the situation had begun to weigh me down... drain my energy, make me feel stuck, unmotivated, fearful, and unworthy... and it is for the best to move on. A most abrupt ending urging me to take a leap into my new beginning.
I will carry him within me always, and I regret nothing… forever grateful to him for being a divine teacher, an inspiration, a motivator, and an activator. He fueled my creativity and kept me company throughout my hermit mode, unknowingly guiding the inner work of healing my childhood trauma. Through his mirroring, he sparked exponential self-acknowledgment, transmutation, and self-mastery. He sent me into the deep and necessary dark night of the soul that confronted me with my shadow and enabled me to cultivate self-compassion and self-love. An intense spiritual stirring that woke the Divine Feminine in me. In rediscovering my Divinity I was empowered, my psychic abilities heightened, and my true Essence revealed.
His departure is Source removing an anchor and firmly letting me know the time has come for me to rise up and cut the flow of my energy to him… to vibrate higher, trusting that I am divinely guided and protected as I leave the safety of my inner world, my bubble, venture out of my mind and rejoin the physical 3D world. Lovingly tending to my Soul with tenderness and care, soothing my heart, easing my pain, and gifting me peaceful rest. Restoring my full vibrance and vitality so that I may harness and focus the full breadth of my power… projecting my Essence outward. It´s time to have new adventures, make new friendships, and find community... Soul tribe connections that will elevate and empower my Divinity.
Time to become the lighthouse I am meant to be. Fully supported in love and light, to fearlessly dive headfirst into the ocean of blessings and possibilities. It is out there in the depths of the great unknown that I know I will discover my Divine Soul Path and start living and fully enjoying my best life in harmonious Divine wholeness. Whirling, laughing, smiling, dancing, and flying.
"What the caterpillar calls the end, the Master calls a butterfly."
- Richard Bach
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