Last year, right around the time I was working on opening our new business, my BF from up north sent me a link to an article to see if it rang true for me and to help inspire a blog entry.
This blog, aside from a chronicle of my baby´s life, is also a way for me to keep her up to date on my life because, with the hustle and bustle and time difference, it´s hard for us both to find time at the same time to catch up via Skype (hmmm... have I overused the word time?). Anyway, that limits our conversations to short, excessively summarized e-mails, blog entries, and Facebook stalking by me :) So, now that I´m taking this blog up again, I thought I would share my two cents on the accuracy of this article by Cara Paiuk entitled "The Things They Really Don´t Tell You When You Have A Baby".
This article really did inspire a long blog entry so I broke it up into two parts. This will be part 1.
1. It will take you at least five hours to watch a movie at home. Me: Just five hours!? Sometimes it can take several days, so we learned to watch short movies on Sunday during Hannah´s mid-day 2 hour nap or watch movies that don´t heavily rely on sound (definitely not action movies) on mute with subtitles on after she has fallen asleep on our family bed.
2. You will rush through all of your meals as if you were in an eating contest. Me: Yes, my new skill is the art of eating an entire meal in under 10 minutes. Sometimes all I can get in are a few bites because her mid-day nap just happens to grumpily coincide with mommy´s lunch time.
3. Sometimes, your baby will be in plain sight when you have sex. And he/she might not be sleeping. Yes, that means watching you. Me: Enough to point out that we ALL sleep together on a family bed, so yeah, you do the math.
4. You will compare and contrast your baby against all others and think yours is the Best. Baby. Ever. Me: I really make an effort to not compare Hannah to any other baby in terms of milestones or appearance because when you compare, you judge, and I don´t want anyone judging my baby. I do have to confess that what I do compare, even while I am trying hard not to, is size (´cause I always think Hannah is big compared to other babies her age). But yeah, my baby is the BEST Baby EVER!
5. Things that seem overpriced and worthless end up being what your baby loves most (Toy Bar - $34, Sophie le Giraffe - $20, Happy Baby - priceless). Me: oh dear, Sophie le Giraffe... I wrote a whole blog entry about this one.
6. Since your baby wants to mimic you, you will be forced to hand over expensive electronics and pray that they won't be ruined. Me: Not just electronics... pretty much anything and everything in your possession ultimately ends up in your baby´s hand. Electronics are just shinier and more eye-catching. I swear that Hannah was born with the intuitive skills required for the iPad and has been using it at least once a day since she turned 1, and NO, prayers won´t keep your electronics intact (R.I.P. the upper left corner and volume buttons of my iPad) so here´s a tip: black electrical tape is the ultimate iPad fix.
7. You think your parents will help out, but they won't be nearly as helpful as you hope. Me: I have the good and bad fortune of having parents who live far away with no way for them to come visit me except via Skype so the way they "help" out is by including in every conversation presumptuous comments like: "You´re going to stop breastfeeding soon right?". Every once in a while, they´ll even throw in an unsolicited tip such as this one: Buy a Door and Cut it in Half. All joking aside, I value my parents´ input because sometimes they DO get it right and I love that they care enough to want to help out in any way they can, regardless of distance.
8. You will become an adult and your non-adult friends will fade away. Me: I only have adult friends, but this statement is true in that your time with friends will change dramatically. In my case, the change wasn´t that drastic because my BF and I are very low-key and have always spent our time together talking over a meal or cup of coffee/tea. The difference is that before we could go on and on for hours and sometimes even end the night with a good movie. Now it´s more of a 3-4 hours tops outing, sans movie, with most of the time spent on Hannah and the other 20% talking. The good thing is we´ve always been good at leaving topics mid-way and picking them right back up the next outing. Now that skill is useful for dropping a topic mid-way to Play/Feed/Walk/Soothe Hannah and then picking right back up again ´til the next Hannah pause. Yes, we only get through a couple of topics an outing if we´re lucky, but I recognize that I truly am blessed to have a BF that has taken to my baby with patience, love and SOOO much understanding.
9. You will think a lot about your relationship with your parents and notice how you are paradoxically becoming them and reacting against them. Me: This rings true in that you do completely understand where your parents were coming from when you become a parent. In my case it´s more true to realizing the huge depth of the love my parents have for me from experiencing the intense love I feel towards my daughter. The first time I held my daughter and was flooded by an indescribable feeling of unconditional love, the first thing that came to my mind was "Wow, so this is how much my mom loves me"... AMAZING!!
10. No matter how great your relationship is with your spouse, you will experience more conflict than you ever did before. Me: 100% true and this is the piece of cautionary advice I use most when talking to people about having children. If you are not in a solid relationship, a baby will NOT bring you closer. If you are in a relatively new relationship, take the time to form a sturdy foundation in your relationship before you become a parent. Work on yourself and learn to make yourself happy before you bring a child into the mix because if you rely on your spouse for your happiness, having a child will only take away from the time he/she can give you and if you can´t find the happiness from within, this change will make you very unhappy. Our baby was long overdue, so we had plenty of time to set a strong foundation before her arrival, and even with a solid relationship we have had our share of baby induced fights. We have been able to overcome, but having a baby is a very trying experience so proceed with caution.
11. You will be embarrassed and humbled by cleaning up poop, experiencing your child screaming in public and/or being that person who is slowing everyone down/getting in the way. Me: Hahahaha, OMG sooooo true! Another blog entry to prove it, I am THAT mommy now.
12. You will love your partner more than ever. Especially when daily sacrifices become acts of heroism. Me: After you survive all of the fights, if they don´t break you they do make you stronger as a couple and yes, I do love my husband more now as a father and a partner in crime so to speak. We are in the trenches together and we give each other strength and love to carry on and be the best parents we can be to our darling Hannah.
13. You will hate your partner more than ever. Especially when you are bleary-eyed and under-appreciated. So basically, most of the time. You'll have to tap into reserves of love, patience and tolerance you never knew you had. Me: I like to think we have more good days than we do bad days and, truth be told, our bad days are now more about financial issues than baby. We have managed to get a rhythm going with Hannah so there really are few bleary-eyed moments, but this is very true for the first 3-4 months of trying to make your way through diapers, breastfeeding, bathing, dressing, sleep-deprivation, etc. My advice, from first-hand experience is that breastfeeding on demand, co-sleeping in a family bed and establishing a routine are your best allies for raising a happier baby and therefore a happier mommy and daddy.
14. You will make noises you did not know were possible in an effort to elicit a smile from your baby. Some of those sounds will be obscene. Me: So many noises and soooo many songs. Heads-up... the tickle monster will become a permanent member of your household :)
To be continued...
To be continued...
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