This past Sunday, we went to visit my sister in law´s family. I remember her children as kids and all three of them are sooo big now I can´t believe how fast time flies and how much and how quickly babies grow up. It scares me to think how fleeting the moments I have with my little darling are, but that only makes me appreciate them more.
While there she mentioned how big Hannah was and asked if she was trying to walk yet, then she told me how all of her babies were big like she is and they all walked until after 15 months. The answer to her question of course is no. On an outing with my BF with her grandmommy and mommy (who I consider my grandmommy and mommy because I love them both so much), her mother said I should already be using a baby walker. It´s amazing how similar Latina mothers are because a couple days later via Skype my mother made the same remark about me having to buy an "araña" (baby walker) and reminded me "tu usaste araña y caminaste a los 11 meses" (in other words, Hannah is behind schedule). Among my networks baby walkers are still very common, despite the fact that the AAP has been trying to get them banned in the US since 1995 and they have been banned in Canada since 2004. People believe a walker will help their babies walk more than the potential for injury I guess.
I was really in no rush for Hannah to walk so I personally would not have bought one, but my BF`s mother loves Hannah so much she gifted her with a pretty one in pink about two weeks ago. You know I am anything but ungrateful, so I have been putting Hannah in the walker about 15-30 minutes each day under hawk eye supervision. Do I agree there is potential for serious injury using a walker?... Yes! Do I want to be an overprotective parent who doesn´t allow her child enough freedom to explore the world around her despite the potential for pain, fear and heartbreak?... NO! Does Hannah like the walker? Well, really she just sits there and plays with the toys on it until she gets bored and starts *coughing and grunting to be let out. Yes, she scoots backwards from time to time, but she has yet to learn that her legs are made for walking. If placed on the floor, she will drag her little body across the room towards whatever object draws her attention, or scoot by her butt.
Recently she has started to get into the crawling position but always leaves one leg stretched out so she can´t really propel herself forward and ends up getting frustrated. I try to stand her up several times a day and she supports herself momentarily and every once in a while will move her little leg forward to take a step. Conclusion: patience my dear Watson, the little one will crawl and walk when she`s ready. I try to remind myself that every baby is different and that I don´t want to be a milestone obsessed competitive mommy. Besides, Hannah is heavier than most babies her age and it has to be tiring to hold all of her weight up on her tiny knees and legs hahahaha :) I know I have a Michelin baby and I love it, she´s just so much more fun to snuggle and cuddle. Neither her pediatrician nor I have ever had any problems with her weight, and on her last pediatrician visit he jokingly said we should sell my breastmilk because he had a lot of mommy clients who could really use it. My parents, however, insist every time they see her on Skype that she is too chunky ;) Next time I chat with them, I´ll have to remember to refer them to Mayim Bialik´s recent blog post, "Some Cows make Cheddar Cheese, Some Cows make Butter". I make, apparently like Mayim, whipped cream.
Anyway, on our way back from my sister in law´s house, we drove by a house that is right next to our gated community (in Guate it´s just always better to live in a gated community whenever possible). In front of the house stood a young girl and boy, both looked maybe 17. They were both angry and the girl was crying. My husband saw the scene and commented on the poor girl, and how they were probably breaking up, then he paused, a pained looked came over his face and he said "ay no, algún dÃa esa niña será Hannah" (someday that´ll be Hannah). I said to him Yes, that was very likely and that heartbreak was one of those things you can´t protect your children from. Everyone goes through it. Then he noted No, on second thought, Hannah would probably be the heartbreaker. I laughed and said even heartbreakers get their heart broken eventually. I remember my first heart break. I was maybe 10 years old and in fourth grade and I confided in the wrong girl that I had a crush on a boy... let´s call him Duane... and before recess on that same day, this boy came right up to my desk and after having never spoken to me I got all excited only to hear him ask me "Why do you like me?" with an uninterested and bewildered look on his face. Agasp! I remember my stomach fell, all of the blood in my body rushed to my face, my little heart broke a little, and I was speechless... so he just gave me a look of exasperation and walked away. I was never able to look at him the same again, even years later when our paths crossed again in High School, the shame of my 10 year old self never left me and to this day I remember those words and my stomach churns a little. Believe you me I had to endure several heartbreaking moments like that one throughout my life, more than you would expect from a girl who had one date in all of high school and didn´t have her first boyfriend / first kiss until the age of 19 when she was living in Guate away from her overprotective parents...YES! believe it or not!)
I was extremely overprotected during the first 18 years of my life, and so I know from first hand experience that when you try to shield your child from everything... you succeed in blocking out a lot of the bad (and even overprotected there was bad), but you also block out the good (and in my case I feel like a lot more good was blocked than bad). Life lesson: You need the Bad to appreciate the good, and you need the Good to help you endure and get through the bad. So I vow to let Hannah frolic in the sun and dance in the rain, and yes I will even use an "araña"... even if that means she might get sunburned, catch a cold, or fall and hurt herself. I want Hannah to be a strong, brave and wise woman and these are qualities only living life to its fullest can teach you. I accept that she will unavoidably feel pain, fear and heartbreak. I can only pray that I am there to soothe her pain, dissolve her fears, tend to her wounds, and mend her heart because, after all, I like to think that´s why God gave us all a mommy.
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