Finding Order in the Tenth Year
I woke up Tuesday, before the start of the new year, feeling the need to write a confession of sorts. A flow of consciousness that turned into structured prose and motivational poetry, I decided, was fitting as my first entry of 2026.
After fanning my flames, I may be willing to go out and have some fun in the coming days. I was invited out for New Year’s Eve by my boss, mentor, and sister-from-another-mother, Heidy. I am feeling inspired to leave my hermit mode and get all dolled up for some much-needed socializing. I will upload a photo to this post later if I do indeed decide to venture out.
I have programmed this entry to publish on 01-01-2026. The numerology was simply too pleasing to ignore. A 1, another 1, and a 10-year that reduces to a 1-year. The "Tenth Year" begins, but the Year of the Fire Horse officially starts 14 days after my birthday, come February, so we are still in transitional energy. That means the Snake Year didn’t end with action; it ended with a period of recognition. With clear-seeing, acceptance, and the integrating, digesting, and settling required for true completion.
Systemizing the Chaos: The Beauty of a Framework
I am so very autistic in how strongly I am drawn to numbers and systems like numerology. It satisfies a deep, intrinsic desire for pattern recognition, order, and predictability in a world full of chaos and uncertainty. Numerology, with its intricate system of rules and patterns, engages my brain and soothes my internal drive to understand and “systemize” everything.
It’s a unique trait of mine that drove my family mad growing up but turned out to be a most valued skill in my work as a freelance corporate strategist. I have a keen eye for detecting lags, duplicities, inconsistencies, and obstructions. I love spotting unmet potential and finding or devising systems that restore order, optimize flow, and inspire collaborative implementation that leads to evolution.
I treat life much the same way. Numerology is just one of many structured frameworks—like Tarot, Oracle Decks, Astrology, Jungian archetypes, and attachment theory—that I often use alongside my intuitive knowing. These tools help me analyze situations, interpret personalities, and divine future insights and possibilities. They provide a sense of control, helping me bring a little bit of order to my small corner of the universe.
The Lesson of the Snake: Surrender
However, if there is one thing this Snake Year has emphasized, it is that I cannot control and systemize everything and everyone.
Even under perfect conditions, things may still not work out. And, more often than not, it is in the worst of situations that the most valuable treasures are found. The lesson has been to trust and surrender... over and over again, until I finally learned that I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to prove my worth. I don’t have to overexert myself to earn anything, especially love
It has been infinitely more satisfying to direct all that effort inwards. Facing my shadows, accepting my weaknesses and imperfections, shedding skin, and embracing my gifts. This is why rest feels so productive right now. Slowing down, clearing out, and simplifying is helping me settle into and prepare for my new reality so that I can be even more brilliantly and authentically me.
The Unicorn and the Shadow
I am coming to terms with the many facets of myself. I am a complex algorithm of opposing truths, a master of duality:
The Light: I am a highly sensitive empath, an encouraging mother, a charming extrovert, a captivating professional, a motivational speaker, a compassionate psychologist, and an intuitive spiritual guide. I am a poet, a bleeding-heart romantic, and a philosopher. I am prone to being overly dramatic, emoting with such passion and enthusiasm that I look and sound like I’ve had three Red Bulls—a running joke the medical specialists I work with enjoy perpetuating.
The Shadow: But I can also be an overwhelmed and overstimulated crying mess, an overly doting mother, a reclusive introvert, self-absorbed, hyperfocused, and an intellectualized overthinker. I can be uninspired, unmotivated, and an aggressive driver. I can be dismissive-avoidant… extremely guarded, distrustful, and an insecure little girl afraid of rejection but desperate for love. I also fall into bouts of depression where I prefer the comfort of my bed and the escapism of sci-fi and fantasy novels to "adulting."
Another of the many things I love about the lovely professor I crossed paths with was that, in the warmth and safety of his aura, I truly felt free to be completely myself and motivated in my shadow work. He saw, and I want to believe he loved, more aspects of me than I have ever allowed anyone else to see, and he never once made me feel ashamed or off-putting.
That is what I am learning to do for myself.
The more of my Soul I integrate and love unconditionally, the easier it is to allow myself the freedom to be my "unicorn self." The more unabashedly myself I am, the happier, more grateful, and more at peace I feel. This joy and hopeful peace & gratitude manifest better in everything and everyone around me. That is when it all starts falling into place for my highest and greatest good.
I don’t want to doubt, fear, overthink, hide, or hold myself back.
I want to trust, face, embrace, and be open and receptive so that I can thrive… regardless of the circumstances this new year brings.
If you are looking for assistance with shadow work, the guidebook for the Sacred Woundings Oracle Deck is an inspirational and poetic framework that beautifully presents shadows as sacred initiations. “The crack is where the light enters, the wound is where the wisdom emerges, the breaking is where the becoming begins.” Here’s the link if you feel drawn to it: https://amzn.eu/d/hajyyIU
The Dawning Tenth
Where there is a will
There's always a way
I pray for the will
The courage to slay
I know as I walk
The path will appear
That doors will unlock
And all will be clear
But now I have to get some rest
I need to prepare
To put forth my best
To joyfully ride on with flair
There's wisdom in silence
In stillness there's strength.
In all, there is guidance
So bring on the tenth!
© 2026 Jessica D.
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