Long lechero flights (lechero meaning milk man/ meaning lots of layovers).
Hard ball negotiation with a stubborn mule of a man.
Actively searching for a place and a time for pumping and (after not finding any) feeling pain in my breasts as though they were going to explode.
Sleeplessness from missing my baby.
On the plus side, I confirmed that everything happens for a reason and discovered how the products I use on Hannah, being a Google addict, having to go on this trip, and the people we met and the things they shared with us were all in fact puzzle pieces and, if you believe God has a master plan as I do, it was just a matter of acknowledging the pieces and discerning how they all come together to form a larger picture. One that I believe will be a blessing not only for my mentor, but for my family, and my country even. I can safely say I don´t regret going on this trip even if it was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting.
Meanwhile back in Guate, my baby girl had to adjust to life without mama and I believe she made that adjustment much easier than I did. An added extra was that my absence gave my husband special one-on-one time with Hannah and also let me see that my baby is okay without me (all though I still believe only in small doses jijiji). Life lesson: Worry Less, Have More Faith. Before I left I wrote up a care log sheet and spent 2 months painstakingly working on leaving a large enough milk supply. I left baby care stations in the upstairs and downstairs so as to avoid having to leave Hannah unattended.
And what happened, you ask? She did not drink all of the breast milk I left, but was in fact content to just drink Papaya juice. The baby care stations were not used much, since she spent most of her time upstairs. The log sheets were not filled in, but she had eaten well, she had had her drinks, her diapers were changed and she was well-cared for. So yeah, things didn´t go as I had expected, but we both survived even if we were left a bit tired and grumpy.
Why grumpy? Well, like I told my mom (and I don´t care if she doesn´t believe me, it´s true!)... Hannah WAS "sentida" (mad at me for leaving her). There was no heart warming greeting, at least not from my baby, and it took a good half hour or more for her to warm up to me again. Not to mention that she wasn´t latching on properly when it came time to nurse. But I gave her her space, was persistent with my kisses and by 9 p.m. we were tucked in bed together, side-by-side, nursing like experts and loving on each other ´til we both fell into a much needed peaceful sleep.
The next morning, everything was back to normal and I gave my baby the three dolls my mentor bought for her (two from Colombia and one from the layover at the airport in Costa Rica) so that we would have something to remember our first nights away from each other by, three long nights that I know served to make me a better mother.
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